Sometimes recovery is waking up early to write in coffee shops and practicing yoga and eating lots of fruit and chocolate and sometimes it’s staying in bed all day and hiding from the world until you can stop crying. All of this is okay. What’s important is that you take care of yourself no matter what kind of day you’re having.
A lot of people complain about the night, and how lonely they feel inside their bed. But that’s not how it works for me. I notice I’m lonely at 9 am. When the sun wakes me up and everything is silent around me. I notice I’m lonely at 1 pm. When I walk down the street knowing I have no one to go visit. I notice I’m lonely at 3 pm. When I draw on my yellow paper knowing there’s no one to say “This drawing is from me to you. I think about you a lot. ” I notice I’m lonely at 6 pm. When I look in the mirror and my body is untouched. There’s no sign of someone else living, touching, breathing my body. It makes me sad thinking how much love I’m willing to give and it’s all going wasted because after all, maybe some people aren’t meant to be with someone.
Wow…it’s like for once someone peered into my head, unlocked my mind and typed the words I never dare to say. Part of me wishes to think, “Gosh, I’m so happy it’s not just me.” But I can never be happy that someone feels as hollow as I do. It’s a feeling that should never be felt, but know I’m praying for you and hope you find someone one day. Someone wonderful, for both you and I.
"text me when you get home" means "i love you, be safe."
It really does
in other news coffeeeyes-laceythighs is an ass
you drink apple juice and are a poser for wearing bags about places you’ve never been #itadakimasuorsomething